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Bullying

Facts | What is Bullying |  A Few Ideas to Try |   Why do some people bully?  
Why are Some Children Bullied and Others Aren't

Suggestions to Stop BulliesSigns that A Child is Being Bullied | Websites

If you see or know someone is being bullied, tell the teacher.
If you are being bullied, tell the teacher.
Remember, if you do nothing about bullying, 
you are telling the bully that it is okay.  
You have the ability to take control of your class!

 

Facts About Bullying

  • Bullying is more than just teasing.
  • Anyone can be a bully.  Some environmental factors that my contribute to a child developing bullying behavior include:
    • Too little supervision of children and adolescents.
    • A "payoff". Children learn that bullying works when adults give in to an obnoxious or aggressive child.
    • Aggressive behavior in the home.  Watching adults bully each other gives children the tools to become bullies.
    • Harsh physical punishment. 
    • Abusive peers.
    • Constant negative feedback.
    • Expecting hostility.

Source:  "Bullying Fact Sheet" by George Batsche and Benjamin Moore, in Helping children Grow Up in the '90's:  A Resource Book for Parents and Teachers (Bethesda, MD: National Association of School Psychologists, 1992)

  • Anyone Can Be A Victim
  • Bulling isn't a modern problem
  • Bullying affects everyone
  • Bullying is a serious problem
  • We can work together to find solutions

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What is Bullying?

Our children usually know what bullying is because they see it every day!  Bullying is when a stronger, more powerful person hurts or frightens a smaller or weaker person deliberately and repeatedly.  Bullies like to strong and superior.  They enjoy having power over others.  Bullying can take many forms:
  • Punching, shoving and other acts that hurt people physically
  • Acting like they rule the world
  • Bossing people around
  • Breaking people's things
  • Cheating
  • Embarrassing people
  • Gossiping
  • Hitting/ kicking
  • Racist and sexist comments
  • Name calling
  • Putting people down
  • Screaming
  • Taking people's things
  • Telling mean jokes
  • Teasing

Just a couple of thoughts when talking to your children about bullying. 

  • It is NOT tattling to tell an adult when you are being bullied.  It is the smart thing to do!  The adult is generally the only person who can really help you do something about the bullying. 
  • Fighting or getting even with a bully is NOT the best way to deal with bullying.  First of all you could get hurt and you might get in trouble.  Besides, if you try to retaliate or get even, then you are acting just like the bully.  Further more, the bully may come after you again - this time to get even with you. 

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A Few Things to Try Instead of Retaliating

  • Count to 10!  Think - don't just react to bullying.  Consider your options.
  • You always have a choice.
  • Tell the person to stop.
  • Keep your hands and feet to yourself.  Retaliating may just make the bully angrier and you may get hurt.
  • Walk away.
  • Use I messages, "I don't like that!"
  • Breath
  • Find an adult and tell them what happened.  You should always inform an adult when bullying happens.  The school can not stop bullying unless you let them know what is happening.  This is different from the proverbial 'tattling".  Tattling is only intended to get someone in trouble - informing is used when someone is hurting you or someone else.
  • Draw or write about what happened in a journal.
  • Stay together in a group - bullies tend to target loners.  
  • Refuse to join in.
  • Believe in yourself.  

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Why Do Some People Bully?

Sometimes, kids will bully for no reason at all.  It can be a way to being popular and or a way to think they are better.  Bullying can also happen because kids want to look tough. They might even be jealous.  Sometimes, these children were bullied themselves and now want to appear tougher. Many times, when children bully other children, they are trying to make themselves feel more important. 

Why Are Some Children Bullied and Other Are Not?

Sometimes children are bullied because they are different.  It can be something really simple like wearing glasses or a name. Others bully because of skin color, size, weight, or clothes.  Any way you look at it, bullying is wrong.  Every one is different in some respect.  

Signs That A Child Is Being Bullied

  • not wanting to go to school - suddenly not feeling well or making up an illness such as stomachaches, headaches, etc.  
  • Missing money or other belongings
  • Poor concentration
  • Sudden change in attitude toward school 
  • Changes in your child's normal academic proficiency.
  • Change in temperament. 
  • Change in normal routines - wanting a ride instead of walking, etc.
  • Seems happy on the weekends but not during the week.

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Suggestions for Stopping A Bully

  • Agree with everything the bully says (instead of arguing!) .  
    "Yeah, you're right." The more you defend or argue the more fuel the bully has to harass you.
  • Use humor - laugh at them.  
    Turn they put-down into a joke - agree with them.  Bullies bully because they know how to push your buttons!  If they can't get you mad, eventually they will leave you alone.
  • Bore the bully with countless, silly questions.  
    "You're ugly."  What is ugly anyway?  How do you rate 'ugly'?  Am I a 10 ugly or a 1 ugly?  How do you know I'm ugly.  Have you ever really seen ugly?  Etc  bullies will get bored and walk away.  
  • Be a Broken Record
    Say the same thing no matter what the bully says.  That's your opinion - over and over again.  Every time the bully says something, you repeat the same phrase.
  • Just say NO!

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Links

 Bullying Online  Includes numerous sections including advice for parents and students.

Stop Bullying Now This website provides information about what bullying is, what you can do about it, and what adults can do.  Includes questions to help find out if you are bullying others as well as what to do when you see bullying.

What's Bullying  This site answers questions generally asked about bullying, including: What is Bullying?, Why do some people bully?